We called it flirting
To disguise that you were degrading I loved the way we laughed That's why I always took you back We had so much fun Then 2 weeks later you switched it up Told me I liked you a little too much Acted like I was fine As I sat in my car uncontrollably crying Over someone that could never be mine I just didn’t know it at the time When I started moving on Your appeared like pandora’s box Forgetting all the wrong you’ve done Why did your presence feel the same when you were gone Red flags wrapped around your chest I couldn’t wait for you to lie to me again I’m the girl you never introduced to your friends They knew about me But didn’t know me The girl who laid everything at your feet Is ready to tell her side of the story Remember when it started to feel serious We became more than curious Remember the night we laid on the trampoline Looking at the stars instead of being in the party You stayed to help me clean Sitting on the couch talking My favorite memory But one thing was missing.. You never kissed me You just hugged me And ghosted me The very next morning The ultimate puppet master Giving me crumbs Just to starve me right after You conditioned me so easily You knew exactly what you were doing That’s why you were never phased when you were ready to leave You planned this for weeks And somehow made me feel guilty Remember when you walked me to my door & finally kissed me Then pushed me off & said you had to leave I thought it was something I said Because the rest of the night You ignored my texts But let’s replay the whole night & make sure we tell the story right I’m no longer holding onto your twisted lies Before you got there You texted asking to drive my car I didn’t think twice about it Because I wanted this date to happen You knocked on the door & in that moment I didn’t know that would be the last time I’d open it For you.. We drove around laughing like we always do We couldn’t decide what we wanted for food Then we went to the restaurant right across the street I remember feeling happy This is how it's supposed to be He finally wants to be with me You walked behind me to the car & pulled the tie to unwrap my shirt I know your mind went straight to the dirt Is that why you left so quickly Did it actually bother you to leave Then to get the texts I sent Did you realize you couldn't be near me again Because you never told me you were celibate A mutual friend did Years later the truth unfolded I hate the way you downplayed us Making it seem like it as all in my head But that’s enough You know exactly what we were You kept coming back because you were hurt You could never even love me Because you had a secret arranged wedding You were promised to someone else I bet it killed you because you felt.. Everything- With me.. I was never lonely Because you kept coming back to replay the same story Because if you didn’t care for me Why did you put my name on your benefits Booked me a hotel room for my birthday you never attended Why did you give me a big bag of snacks when I came to visit I brought you lunch And you said your coworker could make it better You put me down because you knew I’d try harder You calculated asshole Always giving out low blows Then wrapping them up with shitty bows I think I know why you did it & I feel sorry for all the possible reasons Like I’ve said in a poem before Your love was like an unpredictable change of season And one day I couldn’t take it anymore The boy who lost the girl of his dreams I couldn’t imagine what it’s like to lose me Now When it’s me you want to see All you’ll have are what if memories You ruined it & I’ll never forget it Your last words burn in my head “I’m trying to find a girl that’s smart, funny, & cute” You described me Didn’t you & now you’re the one that has to live with the fact That bad boys don’t finish last They circle the same race Repeating their actions to a different face So you sit in your mom’s house Write your raps Meditate on the past About the perfect girl you treated bad & the perfect girl that stopped taking you back
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